Two months earlier I’d broken up with Bob Gresh. Even so, I was driving his white Toyota Supra to run an errand. Although I could have borrowed a car from any number of other students on campus, I’d asked Bob because I was still manipulating my interactions with him, trying to find ways to stay connected to the very guy I’d walked away from.
“God, what’s wrong with me?” I muttered under my breath. My eyes caught the cool blue moon illuminating the freshly cut cornfield. I pulled the car over to the side of the road to think.
I laid my head back against the soft, maroon headrest and turned the car off. I quieted my mind to pray but it stayed focused on the boy. His sports car. Our friendship. Treasured conversations. Memories of our dates.
I’d thought he was the one.
And yet I hadn’t been truly satisfied by our relationship. Oh, I was consumed by it, planned every detail of my life around it, and behaved with excessive manipulation if ever I felt distance might be growing between us! But there remained within me a longing that wasn’t quieted in even our most intimate friendship. As perfect for me as he was, he wasn’t enough.
Why, Lord? I’d prayed. Why can I not find joy in these gifts You’ve given to me?
From deep within, I felt His answer: Dannah, to you, My gifts are still bigger than I am.
Excerpted from Get Lost by Dannah Gresh
Daily Reflection: Does your mindset reflect a belief that God’s gifts are bigger than He is?