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I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

Finding Hope in the Darkness of Depression

Sarah J. Robinson

About I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days

“A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church

 
What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. 
 
You just want a way out.
 
But there’s hope.
 
In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better.
 
Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Praise

“Robinson’s soothing tips and sage advice should go a long way toward helping those in need of assistance.”—Publishers Weekly

About Sarah J. Robinson

Sarah J. Robinson once believed her lifelong battle with depression made her a bad Christian. Now she’s an author and speaker who helps others discover that mental illness doesn’t disqualify them from living rich, beautiful lives in Christ. Drawing from a decade of ministry experience and the mental health field, Sarah helps readers fight for wholeness and cultivate joy. She lives in Nashville with her husband.

Product Details

256 pages | Published by WaterBrook

On Sale Date: May 11, 2021

Trim Size: 5-3/16 x 8

Carton Quantity: 24

Sneak Peek

Start reading chapter one A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Lisa Beech, Asst. Publicity Director lbeech@penguinrandomhouse.com /(719) 268-1917

I LOVE JESUS, BUT I WANT TO DIE
Loving God and praying for healing are not guaranteed methods for curing depression. Take it from someone who’s been there and is now offering a hopeful, shame-free path for others who struggle with mental illness.

“I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die is a one-of-a-kind book...This is a book to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized, or over- spiritualized.” —Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – In the wake of a year that brought increased cases of anxiety and mental illness, comes a needed resource titled I Love Jesus, but I Want to Die: Finding Hope in the Darkness of Depression (WaterBrook, May 11, 2021), by Sarah J. Robinson, named after the viral article she wrote with over 500K views. In this heartfelt, deeply personal book, Robison draws from her own fight with depression and her decade of experience in ministry and in the mental health field to help readers fight for wholeness and cultivate joy.

In a reversal from the often unstated rule that we must always act as though we have it all together, Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness.

With unflinching honesty, she shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church.

Robinson understands that brokenness in our world shows up in a million shattered ways—from sickness and trauma to betrayal and grief. Some suffer due to the inherent biology of belonging to a family with a long line of mental illness. Others live with the fallout of harmful choices others made. And many endure the heavy waves of grief that are sure to come with great loss.

In a soothing, gentle voice, Robinson assures readers that this is a journey, and that wherever they are right now, it’s okay. “In the midst of the ache, cling to this truth,” writes Robinson. “There is nothing wrong with you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And even in the darkest night, there is hope.”

Chapter topics include:


   •  Loving Jesus Doesn’t Cure You
   •  People Say Terrible Things (But We Still Need Them)
   •  The Darkness May Always Be There
   •  Living with a Limp
   •  When Provision Comes in a Pill
   •  Ruthless with Self-Care
   •  Good Therapy and Doing the Work

As depression and anxiety cases rise, this book offers learnable skills such as meditation/prayer, a growth mindset (training the brain) of replacing bad and harmful thoughts, practicing gratitude, learning to nourish and cherish the body with healthy eating, quality sleep, and exercise.

“I’ve had lifelong depression and anxiety. Over the years, I’ve attempted suicide and used self- harm to cope with the pain. Even now, I still have hard days and weeks. But in spite of all that, my life is marked by genuine peace and even joy, because I’ve learned how to care well for myself. I’ve realized what God really thinks and feels about me and my struggles, and I’ve found how I can support my brain and body to experience more joy and contentment,” writes Robinson. “Now, when hard days come, I know I can ride the waves of depression without drowning under them. That’s what this book is all about. This book won’t cure you. It won’t fix everything for you (believe me, I wish it could). But it can help you find a path to a rich, fulfilling life despite living with severe depression.”

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