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I LOVE JESUS, BUT I WANT TO DIE
Loving God and praying for healing are not guaranteed methods for curing depression. Take it from someone who’s been there and is now offering a hopeful, shame-free path for others who struggle with mental illness.
“I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die is a one-of-a-kind book...This is a book to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized, or over- spiritualized.” —Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – In the wake of a year that brought increased cases of anxiety and mental illness, comes a needed resource titled I Love Jesus, but I Want to Die: Finding Hope in the Darkness of Depression (WaterBrook, May 11, 2021), by Sarah J. Robinson, named after the viral article she wrote with over 500K views. In this heartfelt, deeply personal book, Robison draws from her own fight with depression and her decade of experience in ministry and in the mental health field to help readers fight for wholeness and cultivate joy.
In a reversal from the often unstated rule that we must always act as though we have it all together, Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness.
With unflinching honesty, she shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church.
Robinson understands that brokenness in our world shows up in a million shattered ways—from sickness and trauma to betrayal and grief. Some suffer due to the inherent biology of belonging to a family with a long line of mental illness. Others live with the fallout of harmful choices others made. And many endure the heavy waves of grief that are sure to come with great loss.
In a soothing, gentle voice, Robinson assures readers that this is a journey, and that wherever they are right now, it’s okay. “In the midst of the ache, cling to this truth,” writes Robinson. “There is nothing wrong with you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And even in the darkest night, there is hope.”
Chapter topics include:
• Loving Jesus Doesn’t Cure You
• People Say Terrible Things (But We Still Need Them)
• The Darkness May Always Be There
• Living with a Limp
• When Provision Comes in a Pill
• Ruthless with Self-Care
• Good Therapy and Doing the Work
As depression and anxiety cases rise, this book offers learnable skills such as meditation/prayer, a growth mindset (training the brain) of replacing bad and harmful thoughts, practicing gratitude, learning to nourish and cherish the body with healthy eating, quality sleep, and exercise.
“I’ve had lifelong depression and anxiety. Over the years, I’ve attempted suicide and used self- harm to cope with the pain. Even now, I still have hard days and weeks. But in spite of all that, my life is marked by genuine peace and even joy, because I’ve learned how to care well for myself. I’ve realized what God really thinks and feels about me and my struggles, and I’ve found how I can support my brain and body to experience more joy and contentment,” writes Robinson. “Now, when hard days come, I know I can ride the waves of depression without drowning under them. That’s what this book is all about. This book won’t cure you. It won’t fix everything for you (believe me, I wish it could). But it can help you find a path to a rich, fulfilling life despite living with severe depression.”