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About Grace in the Gray

By approaching disagreements in a more loving way and seeing the grace and good in those who hold differing viewpoints, you'll gain a deeper understanding of others, yourself, and God—from the bestselling author of Finding God's Life for My Will.
 
“Written with just the right amount of humor, reflection, and heart, Grace in the Gray shows us how to focus on the people we may disagree with more than focusing on the issue at hand.”—Mac Powell, Grammy Award–winning singer and songwriter

In a culture where constant offense and polarization dominate so many interactions, here is good news about a more productive way to disagree: God desires for us to become better at loving others . . . not better at debating. 

Grace in the Gray helps us see the grace and good that’s often hidden by our own limited perspectives and assumptions. Through a collection of personal stories and biblical insights, Mike Donehey reveals a four-stage process to help you

1. subjectify those you’ve objectified
2. empathize with those you’ve vilified
3. humanize those you’ve deified
4. see why your posture is as essential as your position

In relationships, professional settings, and social situations, discover how to focus on the person standing before you more than the argument set against you. Doing so gives you the rare ability to face any conflict with better questions, kindness, and the calming posture of curiosity.

It all begins by learning to listen and lead with the most transformative substance the universe has ever known . . . God’s love.

Praise

“I’ve had the privilege of knowing Mike Donehey for many years now and have always felt that he is one of the most thoughtful lyricists and communicators I know. Mike is a thinker, but so much more than that, he is a lover of people. Written with just the right amount of humor, reflection, and heart, Grace in the Gray shows us how to focus on the people we may disagree with more than focusing on the issue at hand.”—Mac Powell, Grammy Award–winning singer and songwriter

“In a world that is seemingly more divided and polarized than ever, Mike stands out as a peacemaker. He has a unique gift of reaching across the divides and reminding people with his own vulnerability that we are all created and loved by the same God.”—Gareth and Ali Gilkeson, Rend Collective

About Mike Donehey

Mike Donehey is the bestselling author of Finding God’s Life for My Will, a singer, songwriter, podcast host, and former lead singer of the Christian contemporary band Tenth Avenue North. Mike, his wife, Kelly, and their four daughters live in Nashville, Tennessee.

Product Details

240 pages | Published by WaterBrook

On Sale Date: Jan 17, 2023

Trim Size: 5-3/16 x 8

Carton Quantity: 24

Sneak Peek

Start reading the first chapter! 

In Grace in the Gray, Mike Donehey reveals the beauty of seeing outside your own perspective and learning the power of curiosity, kindness, and asking better questions.

Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

GRACE IN THE GRAY
by ECPA Bestselling Author
Mike Donehey
A WaterBrook Paperback | On-Sale 1/17/23

Singer, Songwriter, and Bestselling Author Mike Donehey Offers a Timely and Much-Needed Guide to More Loving and Productive Disagreement

In a culture where constant offense and polarization dominate so many interactions, singer, songwriter, and bestselling author Mike Donehey (formerly of Grammy-nominated CCM band Tenth Avenue North) now offers good news about a more productive way to disagree: God desires for each of his people to become better at loving others…not better at debating.

In his new book, Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree (WaterBrook/Penguin Random House; on-sale 1/17/23) Donehey helps readers see the grace and good that’s often hidden by each person’s limited perspectives and assumptions. Through a collection of personal stories and biblical insights, he reveals a four-stage process to help readers:
  1. subjectify those they’ve objectified
  2. empathize with those they’ve vilified
  3. humanize those they’ve deified
  4. see why their posture is as essential as your position
“Maybe God wove some mystery into the world because He doesn’t need us to be great debaters, He wants us to grow into great lovers.” -Mike Donehey in Grace in the Gray

Donehey—who openly shares examples of when he’s “played the fool” in his attitude and discourse—helps people of faith discover how to focus on the person standing before them more than the argument set against them. His advice applies to all kinds of relationships, whether at home or in professional and social settings.
 
Additionally, he challenges his readers to honor one another on social media and consider their motives when they want to correct or debate someone’s beliefs.
  
“This is a book about a different strategy altogether. It’s about how we can more lovingly disagree. It’s about leaning in and asking questions. It’s about admitting when we’re wrong and not always assuming our view is the correct one. It’s about curiosity and kindness and asking better questions,” Donehey writes. “I don’t just want to try on another man’s shoes, I want to live in them for a while. I want to explore what it might look like to forge ahead in friendship when it feels impossible to do anything but retreat.”
 
He points out that it all begins by learning to listen and lead with the most transformative substance the universe has ever known…God’s love.
 
By approaching disagreements in a more loving way and seeing the grace and good in those who hold differing viewpoints, Donehey helps readers gain a deeper understanding of others, themselves, and God.
 
“For readers exhausted by a divisive and reactive culture, Donehey’s call to love one’s neighbor will serve as a balm. Christian readers will be buoyed by Donehey’s heartening message that ‘when we can admit we’re wrong but aren’t defeated by it, we are set free from shame.’” 
Publishers Weekly
 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mike Donehey is a singer, songwriter, podcast host, and former lead singer of the Christian contemporary band Tenth Avenue North. He’s also the author of Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree (WaterBrook; on-sale 1/17/23) and the bestselling author of Finding God’s Life for My Will. Mike, his wife, Kelly, and their four daughters live in Nashville, Tennessee. He’s also the host of Chasing the Beauty podcast. For more information, visit https://www.mikedonehey.com. 

Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree by Mike Donehey
On-Sale: January 17, 2023
Religion-Christian Living-Personal Growth; Self-Help Communication & Social Skills;
Family & Relationships-Conflict Resolution
Hardcover ISBN 9780593194188 • 240 Pages • $18.00 US / $24.95 CAN
eBook ISBN 9780593194195 • $12.99 US / $13.99 CAN

Notable Quotes from Grace in the Gray:

“Maybe God wove some mystery into the world because He doesn’t need us to be great debaters, He wants us to grow into great lovers.”

“If we are to love in the gray spaces—the places where our arguments find just footing on either side—curiosity and kindness must lead the way. Our desire to be heard must not overpower our need to hear what others are saying. Our desire to be understood must not overshadow our need to understand others.”
 
“When grace is our baseline, then being disapproved of no longer feels like being disowned. We can even invite in divergence because we know where we stand. We know whose love we stand in.”
 
“The times I’ve been less honest with God, the more guarded and antagonistic I’ve become with others. By contrast, the times I’m scribbling honest, feverish prayers at God seem to be the times I was experiencing the most peace with others.”
 
“The kingdom of God has never been a cancel culture. It’s always an invitation.”

“Let’s share Him by sharing ourselves, and let’s start by sharing our ears. I bet when we put down our megaphones, we’ll find a whole world out there, waiting to be heard. And when they know we truly want to hear, they just might be interested in what we have to say too.”
 
Praise for Grace in the Gray:
“Because grace is beautiful, I think God designed us for beautiful relationships. Sometimes relationships are hard. That is what my friend Mike Donehey has accomplished in his new book, Grace in the Gray—a way to love and discuss hard things the way Jesus would.”
—Bob Goff, New York Times bestselling author of Love Does, Dream Big, and Undistracted
 
“I’ve had the privilege of knowing Mike Donehey for many years now and have always felt that he is one of the most thoughtful lyricists and communicators I know. Mike is a thinker, but so much more than that, he is a lover of people. Written with just the right amount of humor, reflection, and heart, Grace in the Gray shows us how to focus on the people we may disagree with more than focusing on the issue at hand.”—Mac Powell, Grammy Award–winning singer and songwriter
 
“In a world that is seemingly more divided and polarized than ever, Mike stands out as a peacemaker. He has a unique gift of reaching across the divides and reminding people with his own vulnerability that we are all created and loved by the same God.”
—Gareth and Ali Gilkeson, Rend Collective

Contact Publicist

Brett Benson