Cleaning House

Kay Wills Wyma is a Christian, stay-at-home mother of five kids, ages four to fourteen. In Cleaning House, she shares about a year-long experiment she engaged in with her children. She realized that, like so many other parents these days, she was doing too much for her children, instead of teaching them life skills and nurturing them toward independence. We parents are probably all guilty of this, at least on some level. How many parents have laughed when their adult children call them to ask how to do the laundry, or how to change the toilet roll? Perhaps we should be teaching these things to our children before they leave the nest?

Each month, Wyma introduced new chores and their resultant skills in her children's lives. From making the bed, to weeding, cooking, and even finishing a deck chair, Wyma worked on equipping her children for the future, and ridding them of their sense of entitlement. She shares about her year long odyssey in an engaging and entertaining manner.

Like many homeschooled children, my son and daughter already do quite a bit around the house. Cleaning House did inspire something in our own home though. My 14 year old son makes supper from time to time, and my 9 year old daughter occasionally likes to make breakfast for supper. So I sat them down with a meal planning form and asked my son if he would like to make a meal of his choice twice a week and my daughter if she would like to make a meal of her choosing once a week. My daughter immediately asked why she couldn't make supper TWICE a week, too! I asked which two days a week they each wanted and now we sit down once a week and they tell me what they would like to prepare next week. My son's favourite dish to make is Beef Stroganoff. My daughter just loves to make meatloaf.

This book is a must-read for every Christian mom, whether you want to be entertained, inspired, or both.

Have you ever looked around your house and realized, "Holy cow, my children do nothing around here"? Maybe it is just me. And Kay Wills Wyma. The difference is Kay did something about it, and I still have to remind kids to replace the empty roll of toilet paper. Kay's book, "Cleaning House", describes her yearlong experiment teaching her five children twelve different responsibilities in "Cleaning House". While knowing these life skills are important, Kay was motivated by the sense of entitlement she saw in her kids. Like most kids, certainly my own, her kids seemed to think a magical fairy flew in and cleaned dirty dishes, picked up clothes, prepared meals and generally kept the house running. Instead of taking the easy route by continuing to enable this attitude, Kay tackled a different skill or habit each month for a year. Teaching her kids to clean up after themselves or prepare dinner (my personal nightmare) was not without an occasional bad attitude or complaint. However, Kay describes these experiences with humor and a realistic description of how most of us experience our children for good or bad.

One thing that really hit home with me was Kay's description of how some of us tend to do everything for our kids because we can do it better, faster, easier. I can be quick to not enforce a chore because it will take me half the time (and half the hassle). Kay makes the point that by constantly stepping in, we are telling our children they are not capable. She gives an example of when she took over writing her daughter's English paper. When Kay's daughter Snopes brought home an A, she wasn't proud because she knew Kay did the bulk of the work. I'd never thought of it in that sense. I think my kids should do chores because they are part of the family and they need to learn how to do things for their own knowledge. However, I never looked at it as building their confidence. My kids are going to be very unhappy I read this book- it is motivating me to shift more responsibility onto their little shoulders. I recommend this book to any parent who needs a laugh and some motivation to encourage their kid's self-sufficiency.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

Cleaning House: A Mom's 12-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement by Kay Wills Wyma is a book that parents or caregivers of children is going to want to get their hands on. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect when I started reading through this title myself but my hope in getting the children to help out more instead of always being served has gradually started happening with implementing some of the ways and actions mentioned in this title.

The book itself is from the personal experience of a mother of five children ages ranging from four to fourteen. She finally decided she had enough of the entitlement attitude displayed by her kids and set out on a 12 month experiment to basically rid her home of that sorta of thinking and behavior. There are also snippets of testimonials of other parents included through out to back the topics and tasks mentioned through the book.

This book is more than about getting your children to do chores around the house or act a certain way. It's more about teaching your children to be more self confident, aware of others, be responsible, and to learn to have a strong work ethic.These are the life skills every person should have since it obviously doesn't always come naturally. And in doing all this they'll be able to utilize and recognize the gifts God has given them in their work place and in their future families life.

No one said work is fun but in doing it together, our family functions better as a unit. And as a unit, things run much more smoothly. The kids need to learn life skills so there's no time like the now to start getting them engaged into growing into the man or woman they'll eventually become. This is something us parents really need to make sure happens. This book is life changing for both kids and their parents, in my opinion. I like that there are views from the author as well as other people on all sorts of things pertaining to the experiment.

Here's a list of the tasks covered over a years time by the author and her family...

Task 1 - Operation Clutter Control (Making Beds and Picking Up) Task 2 - Kitchen Patrol (Cooking) Task 3 - Grounding Time (Outdoor Duties) Task 4 - Working for a Living (Employment) Task 5 - Domestic Dirty Jobs (Cleaning Toilets) Task 6 - Roll Tide (Laundry) Task 7 - The Handyman Can...or Can He? (Fixing What's Broken) Task 8 - The Entertainers (Hospitality) Task 9 - Team Players (Working Together) Task 10 - Runner's World (Errands) Task 11 - It's About Other's (Service) Task 12 - Lades and Gentlemen (Manners)

I highly recommend picking up a copy of this book. It's been very inspiring for my family and I imagine it will be for others as well.

About the Book:

Is Your Home Out of Order? Do your kids expect clean folded clothes to magically appear in their drawers? Do they roll their eyes when you suggest they clean the bathroom? By racing in to make their lives easy, have you unintentionally reinforced your children's belief that the world revolves around them?

Dismayed at the attitude of entitlement that had crept into her home, Kay Wyma got some attitude of her own. Cleaning House is her account of a year-long campaign to introduce her five kids to basic life skills and the ways meaningful work can increase earned self-confidence and concern for others.

With irresistible humor and refreshing insights, Kay candidly details the ups and downs of equipping her kids for such tasks as making beds, refinishing a deck chair, and working together. The changes that take place in her household will inspire you to launch your own campaign to dislodge your kids from the center of their universe.

"If you want your children to be more responsible, more self-assured, and more empathetic, Cleaning House is for you." -Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family

My Review:

I loved this book, so much so that I am following along monthly with my kids to get my household in order. Kay took such a creative approach to recognizing a problem and then finding multiple solutions that work well for every family. I adored reading how these changes impacted her life and her family. When I started this book, I thought this is just another "self help" type book that won't work. It will be unrealistic and too expensive to implement. Boy was I wrong. The tips Kay gives are practical and insightful with a biblical foundation to equip your kids with traits that will last a lifetime that are God honoring. This book is a definite read for anyone with kids, or just if you want to revamp your own life and need some guidance.

I loved her honest, humorous writing style that drew me in to her life and her willingness to be so open about her own failures that inspire you to change your life. Our kids in this generation are being raised to be dependent on others and material possessions and not themselves and God. They are placing their worth and value on the wrong things. Kay brings to light the need for our families to be dependent on each other, yes, but to also be self-sufficient and accountable. Your actions have consequences and how you choose to deal with them is solely up to you. If you want to raise your kids to be responsible, well-rounded productive members of society this is the book for you.

About the Author:

Kay Wills Wyma has five kids, ages four to fourteen, and one SUV with a lot of carpool miles. She holds a bachelor's from Baylor University and an MIM from the American Graduate School of International Management (Thunderbird). Before transitioning to stay-at-home mom, she held positions at the White House, the Staubach Company, and Bank of America. She and her husband, Jon, live with their family in the Dallas area.

Disclamier: I received this book curtesy of WaterBook Press in exchange for my honest opinion.

This practical, how-to, book was timely indeed. With our recent move, and adding child #4 to the mix, I needed some inspiration to manage our home better; especially in regards to our kids' chores. Cleaning House was quite helpful in this endeavor. I love Kay's honest and straight-forward style as she provides a peek into the streaked windows of her busy home. My favorite tip from the book was how Kay inspired her children to make their beds and clean their rooms; while teaching them the rewards of work. I find myself reminding my kids, over and over again, to do their chores...I like Kay's example of checking chores and offering immediate, natural consequences. Do you find yourself exasperated at the lack of help you get from your offspring? I suggest that we moms crack open this book, roll up our sleeves, and watch this generation's entitlement attitude dissipate- one family at a time.

Read part of Chapter 1 here or follow Kay's blog here.

*I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.